Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Joy and more Sorrow

My cousin and his wife welcomed a new baby boy into the world this morning around 6:30am (their time. They run 3 hours behind me) which came as a much welcomed ray of sunshine. They named him Halen Alan Dillon and he's super adorable and looks just like a Dillon. I tried to be as happy as I knew I should be, a new healthy baby is a reason to celebrate and be happy, but I wasn't able. I looked at his sweet little face on my screen and broke down again. As the day went on, I seemed to be coping better, but I would still have my moments of tears.

I got a text around 6:30pm that my old high school friend had passed. I was on my way to the hospital to visit and say goodbye last night when I got the call about my dad. I meant to make it to see her today, but after helping Mom make the final arrangements for Dad, I just didn't have it in me to go anywhere. I feel awful for missing my last chance to say goodbye to her. My heart hurts more than I ever knew was possible for both of our families.

How much grief can one person stand? I don't feel like I have room for any more, but I know the next worse day of my life is still to come.

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